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The following is from the beginning of a short story by the same title. Read “Author Bio” to learn more.
****
I was recently doing a search in Google to find a website that would confirm my suspicions about a Tele-huckster—a pet peeve of mine to which I am hopelessly addicted. One thing led to another and, yada yada yada, before I knew it, my flat screen monitor began flashing a string of sexually explicit pictures in brilliant pulsating color. It was an X-rated pop-up extravaganza; one I was unable to keep up with. I clicked frantically trying to close one close-up invasion after another. The bombardment continued on until it ran its course, eventually reaching some kind of worldwide web adult abyss that even the internet could not crawl below.
As I cleaned up the dirty debris I so innocently spilled—well maybe not that innocently—I was struck by my good fortune. Thankfully, the internet came along decades after my early teen years. Had this stuff been around in the Sixties, I might still be squirreled away in my attic room to this day, trimming the hair on my palms while mumbling incoherently to my seeing-eye dog.
On the other hand, learning the whereabouts, general appearance and overall purpose of female parts would have been a heck of a lot easier, not to mention more timely. Instead, my sex education was really the collective result of a hit or miss operation. At the time it was torture, but I don’t know, there was something funny about it too. And it all started at my local summer recreation center, Carteret Park ...
****
“What did Roy Rogers say to Dale Evans in the bedroom when the lights went out?” Mud Finnegan asked a rapt group of adolescent boys sitting around a long wooden table at our local summer hangout, Carteret Park. He was about twelve years old, a year older than I and several years older than most of the kids sitting on the benches—that was age-wise but he seemed a generation older than all us in every other way.
Mud looked around, working the table like a seasoned Catskill comedian. No one dared answered his question because it really wasn’t a question at all. It was an obvious lead-in to the punch line of another classic dirty joke; besides, no one had a clue as to the possible answer—no one that is except Moon Muller.
“I know!” Moon yelped in a lame attempt to impress the guys, as if he was really in the know.
“Shut up! You don’t know crap!” Fitzy snapped back, warning that one of his patented headlocks might be coming Moon’s way if he didn’t keep his big trap shut.
“Do too!” Moon fired back in a surprising show of bravado.
“Are you two f’in jerk-offs through?” Mud, as only Mud could do, used the “F” word with a certain artistic flair. He painted masterpieces with four letter words no differently than Monet did with colors from a pallet. Having regained the attention of his fickle audience, he continued to close the deal.
“Do you f'in dick heads wanna hear the f’in joke or doncha?” His eyes got wide and kind of crazy looking, one eyebrow climbing higher than the other. Of course, we wanted to hear. Everyone settled down. He waited a moment, knowing timing was everything; then, delivered the goods.
“I’ll turn on my flashlight if you turn on your headlights.”
A flash of universal vacant thought swept across the sea of open jawed faces, like the eerie stillness before a tornado strikes, as our feeble brains scrambled to “get it”. Then, as if prompted by an audience monitor, an explosion of rip-roaring, doubled-over laughter swept around the table. Ah … Mud sure could bring it home. Making it all the more incredulous was that most of us struggled to understand the punch-line. But we knew enough to laugh because that always bought us time to figure it out.
Mud proudly acknowledged his success with a wide grin, while he waited for us to wipe the tears from our eyes, boogers from our noses and drool from our chins. He was on top of his game. Being the veteran performer he was, he launched into an encore with another doozey about some lost traveler asking some guy who is with a woman how far is “The Old Log Inn”; you can guess the answer. Another eruption of roaring, clueless laughter followed. Another tidbit of carnal information revealed.
That was my introductory class to sex education in the Sixties. We weren’t taught concepts like “private parts”, and never heard of or cared much for formal words like “penis” or “breast” or “vagina”. Our language was narrow and practical; “logs” or “rods” and “headlights” or “cams” were all we knew or needed know to communicate with each other. Regarding “vagina”, only a few guys with older sisters had even the slightest notion of what that might be; most of us were under the delusion that girls had simply broken their logs off at birth; possibly by accident or through carelessness.
So all we had were Mud’s dirty jokes, and embellished stories of older sisters spied on or caught in some state of undress. It was all a forewarning of things to come. I mean we understood the direct symbolism of certain words to body parts and innately found the sophomoric humor in using such imagery in the context of a joke. But underneath it all we started to sense that there was more to this than met the eye, something sinister.
As we’d soon come to discover, there sure was!
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With the stress of day to day life, many men of today are facing different sexual problems, of which the most common is erectile dysfunction. By erectile dysfunction, it means that the man finds it rather difficult to sometimes achieve penile erection, and sometimes to maintain an erection till ejaculation. Stress is the main culprit to this; and since stress is not avoidable today, many men turn to drugs and medications to help them solve this problem. So if you are in this group of men, you need not wait longer for the happiness pill of your needs, for it has arrived.
Those who were longing for a happiness pill for sometime now need not worry as it has scarcely been a decade since the first oral drug; Viagra has been introduced in the market for men suffering from erectile dysfunctions. The chemical used in this wonder drug is sildenafil citrate, and is actually not the first drug that has been created to address erectile dysfunction.
In fact, it is the first drug that is taken orally for a cure from erectile dysfunction. Prior to its introduction, drugs were either injected into the penis, or inserted into the urethra by placing it at the tip of the penis. With the introduction of Viagra, many other companies also started launching drugs to help cure erectile dysfunction.
Some of the new drugs were vardenafil hydrochloride, named as Levitra and tadalafil called Cialis. They were introduced one after the other, and the thing they both have in common is that they have to be taken about an hour before any sexual activity has been planned. With this tablet, the chemical causes chemical reactions which give rise to increased blood flow to the penis.
However, these drugs should not be taken more than once a day. And if the person is under other medications, these drugs are not at all advised. This is because these drugs, on combining with the medications that are taken everyday may cause blood pressure problems and heart attacks.
There are other oral drugs available to cure erectile dysfunction; however, it is now being contested if the results of erection are actually due to the drugs or if it is due to the placebo effect. However, there are some medications like testosterone, when taken regularly, may have some adverse affects on the liver. This is the reason it is not actually advised to take any drugs for erectile dysfunction, unless the medication is prescribed b a doctor.
It has been found that the drugs or medication that is injected into the penis or inserted into the urethra brings about a stronger and longer erection than the oral drug. However, there have been some side effects with these types of drugs like aching, priapism (which means persistent erection), scarring, bleeding, etc. So with the rapid pace that research is advancing today, it is actually better to wait it out for a better drug to help solve erectile dysfunction.
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Do a google search for the "number one health problem" and you will dig up tens of thousands of sites claiming that the #1 health problem in America is such evils as- substance abuse, obesity, stress, Aids, lack of sleep, heart disease, mental health, etc, While I agree that these are serious problems, with far ranging effects, I believe the number one health problem in America is lack of fiber. The US Surgeon General recommends 20-35 grams of dietary fiber a day, but with the average intake of only 10-15 grams, most Americans aren't even getting half the minimum requirements. It’s my opinion that insufficient dietary fiber impairs the health of more Americans than any other concern.
Dietary fiber appears to reduce the risk of developing various conditions, including: acne, appendicitis, arteriosclerosis, arthritis, atherosclerosis, bowel problems, cancer, chemical poisoning, chronic fatigue syndrome, circulatory problems, constipation, depression, diabetes, diarrhea, diverticular disease, edema, endometriosis, fibrocystic breast disease, gallbladder problems, gallstones, gout, heart disease, heavy metal poisoning, hemorrhoids, hiatal hernia, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hypoglycemia, impotence, incontinence, inflammatory bowel disease, iron deficiency, irritable bowel syndrome, kidney stones, menopause, obesity, polyps, prostate enlargement, senility, sinusitis, suppressed immune system, tooth decay, ulcers, and varicose veins. As you can see, insufficient fiber may contribute to a variety of health problems.
Dietary fiber is a virtually indigestible substance that is found mainly in the outer layers of plants (essentially the cell walls). Only plants produce fiber. No animal products contain fiber, not even bones or eggshells. The best sources of fiber are whole grains, nuts and seeds, legumes (peas, beans, lentils, peanuts), fruits, and vegetables. Fiber is often removed from foods during processing. Foods made from white flour are poor sources of fiber. Fruit and vegetable juices usually contain virtually no fiber, as the juice has been squeezed out of the plant material and the fiber left behind. Yet, freezing, drying, canning, and cooking do not significantly change the fiber content of most foods.
Fiber is a unique type of carbohydrate that passes through the digestive system practically unchanged. Fiber is divided into two categories according to its characteristics and its effect on the body: insoluble fibers, which do not dissolve in water, and soluble fibers, which do.
Insoluble fiber- Insoluble fiber draws water into your intestines and helps to maintain regularity. It does not dissolve in water and moves through your digestive system quickly and largely intact. As food travels through your intestines more quickly and is more diluted with water, exposure to potential carcinogens is decreased. Insoluble fiber helps keep you regular by bulking up the stool. Good sources include wheat bran, whole-grain cereals and breads, and many vegetables.
Soluble fiber- Soluble fiber forms a gel-like material in water. It helps to restore regularity and lower cholesterol. Soluble fiber binds up bile acids and disposes of them. Good sources include oats, beans, peas, and many types of fruit.
Don't start a high-fiber diet overnight. It's best to start slowly, especially if you tend to become constipated. Introduce high-fiber foods gradually, during the month. Also, it's important to drink more fluids when you increase the amount of fiber you eat. You should drink at least eight glasses of water a day,
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Except for the religious reasons given in the Old Testament and the Koran, there are a great many reasons given why a man (newborn) should be circumcised.
Are these reasons correct, or are they merely hype? Read on, to discover the real facts about circumcision.
The Original Excuse for Circumcision
It seems that historically the reason given for circumcision is that it prevents masturbation. Nothing could be father than the truth.
Studies have found that both Jewish and Moslem groups are masturbating the same, it not more, than uncircumcised males.
In the post-war USA, proponents of mass circumcision (involuntary amputation of the male infant’s prepuce) had the following rationale.
Circumcision was said to cure such diseases as masturbation, headache, insanity, epilepsy, paralysis, strabismus, rectal prolapse, hydrocephalus, and clubfoot.
The entire male “baby boomer” generation was being circumcised, and by the 1970s, almost 90% of all American male infants were circumcised.
The Facts
It seems that circumcision did not live up to its proponent’s claims, and to the opposite, scientists now understand the prepuse performs a great role in masculine hygiene and several immunological duties.
The modern proponents of circumcision now claim that circumcised males are less likely to attract STD (sexually transmitted diseases) than those of uncircumcised males. Study after study is proving the opposite is true.
What is a Prepuce? What Does it Do?
The foreskin that covers the glands of the penis (the head and upper 1/3 part of the penis proper) is called a prepuce. The prepuce exerts a sphincter action, acting as a one way valve, blocking the entry of contaminants during urination.
The prepuce contains ectopic sebaceous glands that produce smegma. Smegma is a natural emollient containing various secretions, desquamated epithelial cells, and a form of mucus.
This in turn protects and lubricates the glands, facilitates erection, and aids penetration during sexual intercourse.
More specifically, the prepuce contains apocrine glands which secrete cathepsin B, lysozyme, chymotrypsin, neutrophil elastase, and cytokine.
Cytokine is an enzyme that evokes an immune response on contact with specific antigens. The prepuce also secretes pheromones like androsterone.
Finally, the prepuce secretes lysozyme, a substance found in tears, and human milk, quickly destroys bacterial cell walls.
Is the Prepuce an Erogenous Zone?
The answer is an overwhelming yes.
The prepuce contains a rich, complex network of nerves and an abundance of mucocutaneous end organs sensitive to motion, touch, temperature, and erogenous stimulation, somewhat similar to the clitoris in a woman.
The entire prepuce has more nerve endings that the rest of the skin of the penis. It appears the uncircumcised men have a much greater amount of sexual pleasure than that of the circumcised one.
Also the prepuce facilitates the smooth, easy movement between the mucosal surface of the man and woman during sexual intercourse.
In fact, the prepuce aids the penis to slip in and out of the vagina, non-abrasively inside its own covering of self-lubricating, flexible skin. Therefore the woman is stimulated by moving pressure and friction (rather than by friction only).
The Case for Circumcision
Judging from today’s research and revelation from many new studies, the real case for leaving the penis intact (as it was intended) is being firmly established.
As far the as the idea of circumcision preventing STD is concerned, this is completely false. The solution to eliminating STD is by education, not by circumcision.
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In the United States, herpes simplex is the most common genital infection. Estimates show that about 1 million people annually will be infected by this virus. Recurrent infections, as a result of the virus, will affect about 45 million people every year. Studies add that the incidence of herpes simplex will be higher in young adults, adolescents, and in those living in lower socioeconomic populations. It is a chronic disease and, in many people, will not have any visible symptoms. Currently, no total cure is available for herpes simplex.
Herpes simplex is the result of either one of two viruses, herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1), or herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). However, most herpes infections are caused by HSV-2. It has been estimated that HSV-2 is responsible for 80% of initial herpes infections, and up to 95% of recurrent infections.
What Are The Symptoms Of Herpes Simplex?
While many people experience no symptoms with herpes simplex, painfully frequent recurrences of herpes symptoms will appear in others. Approximately 3 to 7 days after contacting the infection symptoms of herpes simplex will begin to appear. Red spots, that will be painful, will appear in the genital area. For men, these lesions will generally appear on the head, or the shaft of the penis. For women, these lesions will most commonly occur outside of the vaginal opening, inside the vagina, and on the cervix.
These spots will soon form painful blisters filled with a clear fluid containing particles of the herpes virus. When the blisters break they will shed the virus, causing the appearance of painful ulcers. These ulcers will last up to 6 weeks. Should the ulcers become infected, they could last considerably longer. Touching these blisters, and then touching other areas of the body can spread this infection to these other areas.
Persons with the herpes simplex virus will also experience headache, fever, enlargement of lymph nodes, painful urination, and urinary retention. Men may also experience a urethral discharge, while women may experience a vaginal discharge.
While men are unlikely to experience further serious complications of the herpes simplex, women with herpes simplex may experience complications when pregnant. Although not yet conclusively established, many believe that there may be a direct link between herpes simplex and cervical cancer.
In rare cases, the herpes virus may spread to the brain. This will cause a condition called herpes encephalitis, a life-threatening condition. Although treatment with the drug acyclovir (Zovirax), an antiviral drug, is capable of curing the encephalitis, up to 60% of the survivors will sustain some sort of permanent brain damage.
What Is The Treatment For Herpes Simplex?
While the herpes simplex virus cannot be cured, the symptoms can be alleviated. The drug Acyclovir helps to reduce the severity of the initial episode, and is also administered to treat subsequent episodes. Acyclovir is administered for 7 to 10 days until the lesions fully heal.
How Can Herpes Simplex Be Prevented?
The best way to prevent herpes simplex is to avoid unprotected sex. Herpes simplex may be transmitted through genital-genital contact, but it is important to remember that it may also be transmitted through oral-genital contact. Condoms are usually recommended to prevent transmission of herpes simplex. However, not all of the lesions may be covered by the condom. Any person engaging in sexual activity with a person infected with herpes simplex, must refrain from touching any lesions, especially uncovered lesions. The person infected with herpes simplex must also avoid touching any lesions to eliminate the possibility of spreading the infection to other parts of their bodies.
Because there is no cure, prevention is especially important for herpes simplex. Currently, The National Institute of Health is testing an HSV-2 vaccine. However, its use is limited to women who have no history of HSV-1 exposure. For now, safe sex practices are the best way to prevent the spread of this highly infectious disease.
